F is for Fake-Believe

My daughter recently received a present from her god-parents:  A DVD by the band They Might Be Giants intended to help kids learn the alphabet.  One of the songs is called Fake-believe:  "F is for fun, F is for fun, F is for fake-belieeeeeeve...."  The song is about all the fun one can have pretending.  I can't tell you how the rest of the song goes, though, because the Baby Girl only likes to watch the first 10 seconds of every song.  Unless it involves puppets.  Or robots.

My realization is that fake-believe has been generally harmful to my adult life.   When I was a kid, I didn't play with a lot of other kids.  I preferred to live in my own "fake-believe" world, where I was Joe Montana, Ken Griffey Jr., or Michael Jordan.  Sometimes I would pretend I was me as an adult, setting the world on fire as the first three-sport pro athlete.  And I think all of that was good; it has made me a better thinker and problem solver as an adult.  I hope Ashlynn does lots of creating and pretending.  To this day, I still sit down with a video came and pretend that I am a Head Coach or General Manager as I lead my teams to championship dynasties.

The harmful part is that I still find it easier to pretend.  I couldn't hit a home run or dunk a basketball at 8, 10, 12 years old, but I could pretend.  As an adult I find it easier to pretend that I could be a good husband if I actually worked at it than it is to put in the time and effort.  I can tell myself my wife is a lucky woman because of what I am capable of doing for her, because of the father and husband I can be. Yet if I don't actually put forth the effort to show her that, it means nothing in the real world.  It is simply easier for me to lie to myself about whats possible than it is to work hard at proving the theory.  I know that sounds obvious, and a little horrible, but I have to imagine I'm not the only one.

And the list goes on:  It is easier for me to pretend that people would like the songs I write instead of actually playing them for people.  Its easier to believe I can sing and write like the people on the radio than it is to put myself out there for the criticism I know would be coming.  It is more fun to pretend than to face reality, so I choose to believe the fake-believe world I create for myself.

No matter how much people compliment my writing, it is easier to simply believe people would like a book I wrote rather than actually write one.  Its easier to come up with the excuses not to write one, tell myself that if I ever did write one it would be great, and simply live in the fake-believe.  Even if God tells me to write, its still easier to make excuses in reality and bask in the pretend.

I used to think that the hardest part of having an active imagination was the day all those dreams disappeared; the day I found out I would never be a pro athlete.  Today, I'm finding the hardest part to be living in reality...